Monday, August 15, 2011

Dan Uggla Unequivocally and Unnecessarily Decides to Start the Next Hitting Streak in the Next Game

Many faces of Dan Uggla with Florida Marlins

Speaking to reporters after the game, which ended his hitting streak at 33 games Dan Uggla, said “Absolutely, my next hitting streak unequivocally starts tomorrow. Streak this time will be rest of the regular season games, post season games and next season’s games. I am into this. I don’t want my family to look stupid when I hit. I have lots of respect to myself”. Asked what his pre-game preparations are, he said “I admit I eat lots of spinach. I always keep it simple. This is not complicated”.

Not everyone is happy about Uggla’s hitting streak. Fredi Gonzalez, Braves Manager added “I hope he just shut-up and play. He is talking this blah, blah, blah”.

Braves Pitcher Brandon Beachy said “Man, some of us are really glad those silly, man hugs are over with. I was getting worried about people calling us gay. I hope he won’t start another streak soon”.       

Uggla promised not to bring any spinach snacks to the infield and then flexed his enormous, gargantuan, humongous Popeye arms.