Saturday, September 10, 2011

Al-Qaeda Feels Their 9/11 Contributions Are Ignored

Cave based virgin terror boss Ayman al-Zawahiri, leading his band of terror brothers for the first time in 9/11 memorial stuff, is reportedly disappointed with the US Govt and the media. He feels their 9/11 contributions are in its entirety ignored and unacknowledged, according to high ranking Pakistani military friends of Zawahiri.

Zawahiri calling from his freshly painted deep cave in Afghanistan said “Salaam Meester, we feel let down by your government. Wee, expected more. We did all the hard work for 9/11. I watch TV all day this week, everyone talking 9/11 but nobody talking al-Qaeda. Not even Cooper. Wee spent little money Saudi give us to send boys to expensive flight school in America. We bought GPS. I feel we are treated like shiit”.

Abu-salta al-mushtaq, the senior most cook to Zawahiri speaking to Live Blog added “My boss vary sad today. I don’t talking to him now. He want to go to America. He had plane plan ready to go to Las Vegas. Now he can't. He vary vary upset”.

US born Hamid al-Neyorqie, al-Qaeda's deputy strategic mastermind added “We have a 3 day celebration of “Never Forget” ready to blast. If I remember correct, we invented 9/11, even though the media in the west act like, you guys started this. This year we made a strategic decision, not to blow celebrations out of proportion. Ours is very low key, but to the point. Here is a copy of “Never Forget” celebration brochure. Just some setting off bombs evening fireworks near places people like to hang out, police stations and hospitals. Random crap shoots of handful of Apaches. We did invite Rachel Utichel, because for us, she is the most important 9/11 happening”.

Live Blog reporter called to confirm Miss. Uchitel's participation "Never Forget" Afghan festivities, her handler said "Rachel is away investigating some important monkey business in Florida".

“When I Googled “Al-qaeda 9/11 contributions”, my search didn't give any shit worth telling my father”, said Zawahiri's 13 year old son from his sixth wife. This 13 year old thinks, Google algorithms are completely fucked up and the system is now shitty.