Monday, October 17, 2011

Mitt Romney Calls Rick Perry an Infidel, Issues a Mormon Fatwa

Mitt Romney calling Rick Perry an infidel issued a binding Fatwa against him. Romney's pastor at Brigham Young Great Mormon Tabernacle issued it on his behalf. For successfully carrying
out this Fatwa, person or persons will receive a yet to be announced very large sum of money. Pastor promised to look in to throwing a couple of child brides as additional gifts.

Later an angry Romney, speaking to supporters said “I have the authority from Book of Mormon to issue a Fatwa against anyone bitches too much about Mormonism. I took a lot of shit from Rick Perry like a true Mormon Christian. I politely asked him not to talk shit about my religion. This jerk, just can't stop being an infidel jerk.”

“Mitt persevered with Rick for a long time even with everyday insults. This Fatwa is capable of curing most of Rick's inadequacies like his daily need to get few cheap laughs,” a confidante of Romney explained.

Pro-Rick Perry crowd during a prayer meeting strongly criticized the Fatwa. They advised Romney to withdraw it right away for his own safety. According to them, there is a Mormon conspiracy against Born Again Texas Republicans. Angry mobs of Perry backers vowed blood revenge, even though they come in peace to spread the word of baby Jesus.

Mormons argued they are an integral part of Christianity in the US. They insist theirs is not a cult and blamed evangelicals for spreading fear and misinformation.

Michele Bachmann feeling left alone and ignored, tried to issue a counter Fatwa against Perry. Even before knowing what's in her Fatwa, Michelle claimed her Fatwa is better than Mitt's and represents Tea Party better. But everyone ignored her.

Other Republicans have been less than enthusiastic about the Fatwa. Several have told us this move by Romney is selfish and outrageous. According to them Romney's incompetent and unreasonable behavior is responsible for what Mormonism has come to identify in today’s world. Anyone building a multi-million dollar mansion by destroying another multi-million dollar mansion is not normal.

While Romney and Perry trying to one-up each others' religion, influential Republicans like George W Bush, Rudi Guiliani, Donald Trump and Sarah Palin have lined up behind Herman Cain. To them, Cains' sensible and no religion proposals of 999 tax and any two large pizzas for 9.99 without coupons are the real deal.

Meanwhile, angry Mufti's in Mid-East and elsewhere in the world, issued binding Fatwa's against Mitt Romney, Mormon Church and Rick Perry for first desecrating, then copying their Islamic laws. Person or organizations carrying out these Fatwas are promised cash in USD, cattle and some virgins; things to enjoy in this life.