|Bezos Taking Amazon from Fire to the Frying Pan|
Jeff Bezos after setting e-reader and tablet markets on fire, today announced Amazon's plans to enter haute French cuisine market with La Maison Amazon. Jeff added restaurant opens in time for the holiday season for rich and poor to enjoy a fine dining experience.
In anticipation of demand for haute cuisine, Jeff purchased in advance; 2 tons of foie gras, ½ ton of frog legs, 1000 boxes tartes aux fruits, 500 fresh loafs of pain poilane(frozen), 2 tons of Mimolette and 1000 cases of Médoc wine all from Alibaba for cheap.
The idea of launching La Maison Amazon came to Jeff, while taking a chopper ride in Texas looking for a launching pad for his Blue Origin spaceflight company. While looking down, he saw a mountain of frog legs, which immediately sent a signal to his brain to do something about it.
Restaurant industry experts already certified La Maison Amazon as world-class. Without even having a meal there yet. But, experts Monsieur Francois Gaston and Madame Helene LaFont are unanimous with their decision. This being a definite world-class restaurant, worth at least 4 Michelin red stars before opening.
With Amazon, Jeff promised to bring haute cuisine to rich and poor in places like San Francisco, LA, NYC and London. Amazon accountant did his maths and told Jeff he can set a la carte prices at $95 for 3 frog legs and $25 for a tarte aux fruits. A price point Jeff believes affordable to rich and poor, even in a bad economy.
First La Maison Amazon will be opening on December 20th in New York City and San Francisco. Reservations will auction off in Amazon website's adult food section.
While, the reaction to this announcement from the rich received two thumbs up, poor who would love to taste some foie gras and a glass of Médoc during holidays, showed no enthusiasm at all. By the time Jeff made the announcement, most of the poor have already burned money on Kindle Fires and waffle irons on Black Friday.
Amazon accountant refused to confirm or deny plans to accept food stamps at some point in the near future. The accountant briefed Merduchs News “Most of the food stamp beneficiaries we see are driving to the Social Service office in BMW's, wearing designer cloths. We encourage our patrons to use credit cards.”
“Ridiculous,” said a woman walking out of the Social Service office dressed in a pair of True Religion jeans, carrying a Hermes bag and food stamps, when asked if she plans to use her food stamps at La Maison Amazon.