Tuesday, November 1, 2011

World Mourns the End of Sham Marriage of Kim Kardashian


Fake Virgin Bride Kim on Her Fake Wedding Day
World today woke up to the utter sorrow of learning the end of fairly tale marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. Adding more misery to break up of this fairy tale marriage, divorce is announced on Halloween.

People from Tokyo to Tashkent to Timbuktu expressed their shock and sadness upon learning the marriage break-up only after 72 days. Timbuktu native, M'Bekesele To'aGa said “I hoped this marriage would last longer than Kate from England. Kim and Kris's relationship looked solid when we looked from Timbuktu. I am so sad, I don't know what to do. Please pray Kim would find a more suitable, richer guy for her next wedding.”

Celebrity paparazzi commentators expressed concern for Kim's well-being. They all remarked for her next big wedding, she is better off by choosing someone really loaded and powerful. For example she should choose someone with a trust fund around $25-50 million and from high society, like Prince Harry.

Kim's mother and business manager refused to make any changes to their tried and trusted business methods. According to her, this business model has done wonders for their bank account and especially for her personal account.

Other Kardashian sisters refused to give details of their planned marriages and divorces. Kardashian brother and Jenner brothers are working on their own shows. For the time being they have refused to give details, as they are not finalized. One Jenner brother said “We don't plan to marry Kim anytime soon on TV, even if she gets her panties in a bunch.”

Kim explained her decision to divorce Kris H on her way to the Beverly Hills Halloween Party “I did not think this marriage would last even this long. I always wanted to marry a rich man with talent. No one in Basketball knew Kris, until I picked him up from a line. Last few weeks Kris had no work. Let's admit it, I am not going to feed him for nothing. Then I heard he lost money on a sham investment by his manager. How dumb can you be?”

“I knew it. That is why I took a pass on this wedding. I might attend her next wedding, but this one I knew not going to work,” said family friend real estate mogul Donald Trump, wagging his fat right hand index-finger. Trump received an invite to the wedding, but RSVP'd in advance for yet unknown reasons.

Meanwhile Armenians in Armenia and Los Angeles area said they never heard of a Kim Kardashian or the last name Kardashian. They think the name “Kardashian” is Azerbaijan or Lithuanian.